I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
