Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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