I'm drive I can fine osifer
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
