We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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