Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
wow bdsm is so cute
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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