sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
