Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
