Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
