bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
