Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize