Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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