Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
