And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
