But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
