i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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