I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
