i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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