so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
