either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
