If i come over, it means nothing
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
