He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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