Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
