dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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