I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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