New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
