I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
