Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize