he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
