Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
