it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
