i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
