You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
