I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
