you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
