Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
