She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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