a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
