Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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