Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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