absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
