It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
