Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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