Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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