just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
