Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
