When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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