Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
