i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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