my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
