my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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