This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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