Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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