Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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