I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
