Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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