don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize