So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
kristin has been a bad kristin
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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