Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
worst night to have a conscience
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
