it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
