He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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