then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
